I asked my husband to please press pause on the movie We were watching.
He called the dog over for the task, wanted to press his paws.
Spouses are like world wars.
You never refer to them as the "first" until there's a second.
My fiance is kidding... She's due in 7 months!
I rang the doctor on our way to the hospital, and said, "Quick! my pregnant wife is going into labor, what should I do?"
He said, "Is this her first child?"
I said, "Of course not, this is her husband!"
I bought my missus an egg-beater for our wedding anniversary.
I knew she wanted me to whisk her away.