I got a parking ticket today and my husband just laughed.
He thought it was a fine joke.
Daughter's boyfriend introduced himself to me and said "Hi sir I'm david, nice to meet you".
He put out his hand and I said "David are you nervous?" He said no, so I grabbed his hand looked him in the eyes and said...
"Then why are you shaking?"
How did the hamburger introduce his wife?
"Meet Patty."
We were having lunch with my wife's parents. Her father asked if she and I were still going to a concert later that night. He asked, "Are you guys going out?"
I said, "actually, we're married".
My partner was always criticising my sense of direction... So I packed up and right!