What do you call a mosquito sitting on your spouse’s cheek?
A golden opportunity.
How do you tell others that your Israeli husband made coffee?
Hebrew.
My fiance is kidding... She's due in 7 months!
My wife sent me an article about "sandpaper spouses..."
I told her she must be 2000 grit, 'cause she's FINE!
I got a parking ticket today and my husband just laughed.
He thought it was a fine joke.