Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Déjà.
Déjà who?
Knock Knock!
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him, “Why the long face?” The horse says, “Evolution.”
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?
Desserted
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?
Linoleum Blownapart.
"Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough."
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
In exactly 3030 years, there's a chance things could be really good, and theres a chance things could be really bad.
I guess it will be 5050.
Copernicus was wrong, you are the center of my universe.
Take an Avonleap of faith and go on a date with me!
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
Six slimy snails sailed silently.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
Hey Anthony, methinks Antho-Need your number
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
We pass expectations, set the standards and kill the competition. This is definitely one of the best volleyball puns to use as your team’s motto.
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
This may be corny, but you are a-maize-ing.
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
Why did the skeleton go to church?
Because it didn’t have any organs.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
Why did the chicken stop crossing the road?
It got tired of everyone making so many jokes.
Ooh, I love your accent. What is it, agogic?
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.