Join us for a slice of fun.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
Can I borrow your library card? Cause I’m checking you out.
Two muffins are sitting in the oven.
One says, “Wow, it’s hot in here.” The other one says, “Sure is. Probably about 350 degrees Fahrenheit.”
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
I hear this house is haunted… we better stick together.
When you cross a plane and a snake, you will end up with a Boeing Constrictor.
Will glass coffins ever become popular?
This remains to be seen.
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby."
- Natalie Wood.
A sign at a music shop: “Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”
When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
Why do men name their penises? Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90 percent of their decisions.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
Is it hot in this Bikram studio, or is it just you?
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Mary Mac's mother's making Mary Mac marry me.
My mother's making me marry Mary Mac.
Will I always be so Merry when Mary's taking care of me?
Will I always be so merry when I marry Mary Mac?
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
“A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.”
– Markus Zusak
“I take my pet lion to church every Sunday. He has to eat.”
- Marty Pollio.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
I was just reading an article called "10 most scenic runs"... the third one was with you!
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron