How many snacks could a snack stacker stack, if a snack stacker snacked stacked snacks?
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
Q. What did the bully do to the orange?
A. Beat him to a pulp.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
Why does North Korea excel at drawing straight lines?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
I am a dog.
And you are a flower.
I lift my leg up.
And give you a shower!
"I am the friend you have to explain to your other friends before they meet me."
— Unknown
Are you a sweet honeybee? Because you have stung me in the heart
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web."
Don’t worry, beer happy.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
I was watching a chess champion vs a boxing champion match.
The chess player had a mean right rook!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
Hey, let me take you out on a first date in the snow - I promise I'm not a flaky person.
What's a doctor hope to gain from a urine test?
Whizdom
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
A tutor who tooted the flute tried to teach two young tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, ‘Is it harder to toot, or to tutor two tooters to toot?
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
Hey, want to get together sometime since we both have unpaired electrons?
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
What did the doctor say to the other doctor? We’re both doctors!
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.