Cheesy Valentines Day Sayings

Why’d did the cowboy have a wiener dog?
Someone told him to get a long little doggie

Do you find bone puns humerus?

Is your name Scarlett? Because when I saw you my heart was gone with the wind.

Cycle with me? I feel like I’m on a whole other gear when I’m with you!

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”
Ashleigh Brilliant

What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.

I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.

What has four legs and one arm?

A rottweiler at a park.

Are you a volcano? Because I lava you so much!

“Sometimes I’m so tired, I look down at what I’m wearing, and if it’s comfortable enough to sleep in, I don’t even make it into my pajamas. I’m looking down, and I’m like T-shirt and stretchy pants? Yup, that’s pajama-y. Good night.”
Rebecca Romijn

What did the skydiver say in autumn? I love the fall.

Are you a microprocessor or are you etching to see me.

When are you going to invite me to church?

Did you hear about the thief that preferred robbing criminals and babysitters?
He cleaned out every crook and nanny.

What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.

Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.

What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships

"Love is being stupid together." - Paul Valery

Long thyme no see.

What do you call two beautiful cat that sit together in the basin?
Purrfectly in sink.

'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."

People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.

Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.

I can remember where I got married.
I can remember when I got married.
I just can’t remember why.

Wine improves with Humans improve with wine.

What is a robot’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy metal.

I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.

There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.

What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who

I hate hard drives...
...they byte

“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them

When winter comes, this town turns into an iceburg.

"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children." – Clarence Day

When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.

If it ain’t brogue, don’t fix it.

Are you a flower? Because I fell in love with you once and floral.

Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fangs
Fangs who?
Fangs for letting me in!

SIBLING PUNS
Who’s the pimple’s favorite sibling?
His cyst-er.

Why wasn't the taxidermist invited to Thanksgiving dinner?
No one wanted to try his stuffing

What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.

We may be two ships that pass in the night, but I must have your number before you Ceylon.

Why did the Archaeopteryx always catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!

“Running: Cheaper than therapy.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt

The Mozart Effect: Makes a child smarter and more mathematical along with a higher IQ
The Haydn Effect: Child is witty and quick on his feet, quite often bringing a grin to the faces of those around him. Despite this he exhibits remarkable humility.
The Bach Effect: Child memorizes Scripture and says his prayers every day; may overwhelm listeners with his speech.
The Handel Effect: Much like the Bach Effect; in addition, the child may exhibit dramatic behavior.
The Beethoven Effect: Child develops a superiority complex and is prone to violent tantrums; is a perfectionist.
The Liszt Effect: Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never really says anything important
The Bruckner Effect: Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently. Gains a reputation for profundity.
The Grieg Effect: This child is quirky yet cheery. May be prone toward Norwegian folklore.
The Ives Effect: Child develops a remarkable ability to carry on several separate conversations at once.
The

Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.

Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!

What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.