A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” —Erma Bombeck
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
Getting tired of all this laundry. I’m going to throw the towel in.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
There was an Old Man of the Cape,
Who possessed a large Barbary ape,
Till the ape one dark night
Set the house all alight,
Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
A man gives his wife an expensive bottle of wine for her birthday. After a few glasses the wife blurts out, “I love you”.
The husband responds: “Is that you or the wine talking?”
Wife: “This is me, talking to the wine.”
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
“Hey barista, how much for a cup of coffee?” says a customer.
“Two dollars,” replies the barista, “and refills are free.”
“Great. Then I’ll have a refill,” answers the customer.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
There's a German butcher around the corner from the hospital.
Just in case someone takes a turn for a wurst.
If I had a dime for every time I saw a BMW turn without signaling, I could buy a BMW.
Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence? A convict.
A lot of people can't understand why Daniel Day Lewis's twin brother Daniel Night Lewis didn't make it in the movies.
That's because the difference between them is night and day.
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
"Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees and then kindness."
— Nanea Hoffman
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
Suzie Seaword's fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
I hate dentists.
Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
Why did the giraffe get bad grades? He had his head in the clouds.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
For generations every male in my family has made and passed on their dad jokes.
Guess you could call it pop culture.
"I'm dyeing to know what's up."
I know, I’ll never have a chance with you but will you give me a chance to hear an angel talk?
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
I'm reading a horror story in Braille and something bad is about to happen...
I can feel it.
“Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.”
– Sam Keen
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.