We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Pizza Love
Pizza, Please?
I Love All Pizza
Sausage ,Pepperoni, Or Cheese
Pizza Love
Its Forever
In My Heart
It Makes Life Better
Pizza Love
Pizza, Please?
I REALLY LIKE PIZZA
Sausage, Pepperoni, and Cheese.
(Camryn Noell)
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
There once was a Halloween party
All of the costumes there were naughty
I tried to be cute
Wearing my birthday suit
And won the prize for costume most gaudy.
The highlight of the year for dear old Dad
Was Halloween when treats were to be had
His modus operandi
Son you collect the candy
Snickers for me - licorice for you lad.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
I dreamt about you. You died.
What vehicle has 4 wheels and flies? a garbage truck.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
If I put dull-tasting food in a bowl, will it have a bowlder taste?
My sister prefers taking the stairs, but I always take the elevator. I guess...
we are raised differently.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
Look into my compound eyes and say you'll eat our young.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
A snake walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “How did you do that?”
You brighten up my day just like the anti-fog spray for my goggles.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?
Where's popcorn?
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
“I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.” - Dwight Schrute, 'The Office'
“My relationships with my cats have saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance.”
- William S. Burroughs.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Mikey.
Mikey who?
Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.”
- Walt Disney
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.”—Joyce Brothers
I’m a fraction – be my other half.
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
All you need is MY love
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
What is a teddy bear’s favorite Thanksgiving food?
Stuffing!