Synonym rolls: just like grammar used to make.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
I must be the sun, and you must be earth, cause the closer we get, the hotter you become.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
There four things we simply cannot choose in this life
1. Our parents
2. Our nationality
3. Our physical attributes
4. The Russian president
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
I didn't want to believe my husband was robbing golf courses...
But I couldn't ignore the red flags!
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
Recently I visited Germany. I hated everything in there. The people, the history, the language. But, oh god, the smell.
It was the wurst.
Why didn’t the lamp sink?
It was too light.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Is your name Alice? ‘cause baby I can show you Wonderland.
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
“I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty.” – Wendy Liebman
Man: Your face must turn a few heads!
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs!
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would spend every second today thinking about you.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
English can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
I hope for world peas.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Wanna know why I like to do yard work?
It really takes the hedge off!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Henrietta.
Henrietta who?
Henrietta worm that was in his apple.
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Resting Grinch face.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.