What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors."
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
I tried drag racing the other day.
It's murder trying to run in heels.
Forget hydrogen, you're my number one element.
"I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summer"
I don’t know why I couldn’t convince my wife she would like the set of knives I made her for Mother’s Day.
I made several good points.
Damn girl, I must be an elephant. Because I'd never forget you.
Call me Kathleen Wynne ‘cause I’d spend all my money on you.
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why did the skeleton go to church?
Because it didn’t have any organs.
Why was the bouncy castle so expensive? Due to the cost of inflation.
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
If I had a nickel for every COVID-19 joke I know, I could buy a whole lot of toilet paper.
I like you very mulch. I think about you every daisy.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Also Did you utilize Canada's public healthcare system to help ease that pain?
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
Best in snow.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
The sun must be jealous of you because you are so hot.
"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."
Anonymous
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
I was offered a job as a gardener, but I didn’t take it because the celery was too low.
Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
Who does May like the best?
April Showers, because April Showers brings May flowers!
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”
- Lane Olinghouse.
I hear you don’t like fractions. So will you let me be your other half?
Driftin with an attractor like you, baby, is always 'drag free'.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
What do ghost cowboys wear?
Boooots.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
You must be from Prague, because I can't help but Czech you out.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.