What is the national dish of Sweden?
Swedish.
Even The Beatles think that we should "Come Together." "Right now."
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”—Jean Ferris
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore who?
Adore is between us. Open up!
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
It’s a season of giving, so you should give me your phone number.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
Can you find the three errors in this sentenceeee?
I'd let you Chataranga over me any day!
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
If a black bug bleeds black blood, what color blood does a blue bug bleed?
What do you call a fruit that cannot get married?
A cantelope.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
Roses are red, violets are blue, give me your number, so I can bloom with you.
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
That Kenyan black smells wonderful! May I try it? Normally I stick to English Breakfast, but I’m always open to experimenting.
Your lips may be saying no, but your endorphins are saying yes.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Gosh, don’t cry it’s just a knock knock joke.
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.
Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Did your parents work on The Manhattan Project? Because you’re the bomb!
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
Am I in the advanced class? Because I like to go hard.
Just brew it!
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in a frying pan?
Take away its tiny brooms