The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
If my life was a cake. Then you'd the cherry on top.
Nice wrapping but I need to inspect it.
Hey is your name Cameron? Cuz I’d love a Camera-n to capture that gorgeous face of yours.
Why shouldn't you shop at the Banana Republic? Because the employees look like a bunch of dicks.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
I could never Passover you.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
For Valentines Day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.
It’s the little things that count.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
You must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
Little Johnny asked his father, "Dad, can you write in the dark?"
His father said, "I think so. What do you want me to write?"
Little Johnny replied, "Oh, just sign this report card for me..."
Hey Aria… Aria gonna give me your number?
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
The furniture store saleswoman keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was one night stand.
This book of spells was useless. The author forgot to run spell check.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Yah.
Yah who?
No, I prefer Google.
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth?
A slow swimmer.
Pizza Love
Pizza, Please?
I Love All Pizza
Sausage ,Pepperoni, Or Cheese
Pizza Love
Its Forever
In My Heart
It Makes Life Better
Pizza Love
Pizza, Please?
I REALLY LIKE PIZZA
Sausage, Pepperoni, and Cheese.
(Camryn Noell)
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
"If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?"
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
A man and a woman were traveling in a train.
Woman : "Every time you smile,feel like inviting you to my place. "
Man: "Oh really? Are you single?"
Woman: "No. I'm a dentist."
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
What did the icy road say to the car?
“Want to go for a spin?”
Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
I had a dream that I was a mechanic who fixed wrecked cars.
It was an auto body experience.