While the blues musician performed his most famous song, balloons of every color were released in the arena. Guess we may get to call it the 'House of Hues'.

I wrote a song about a tortilla chip.
Actually, it's more like a wrap.

Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.

In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.

Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.

What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.

I seen my father pouring chicken soup over his compost yesterday
I suppose chicken soup IS good for the soil.

How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.

There was an Old Man of the Nile,
Who sharpened his nails with a file,
Till he cut out his thumbs,
And said calmly, 'This comes
Of sharpening one's nails with a file!'

What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.

I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”

Biology - It grows on you.

What does the "B" stand for in Benoit B. Mandelbrot, the inventor of fractal geometry?
Benoit B. Mandelbrot

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the fresh prints.

Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.

What did Michael Jackson say to his chess opponent?
“It don’t matter if you’re black or white.”

What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.

What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.

A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.

I froze some raspberries last summer. You're hot enough to defrost them.

All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!

I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.

“Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”

Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!

What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.

What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!

“Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.”

"I can't make you love me, but I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75." — Rob Delaney

We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.

A circus performer named Brian,
Once smiled as he rode on a lion.
They came back from the ride,
But with Brian inside,
And the smile on the face of the lion.

"A good run is like a cup of coffee. I'm much nicer after I've had one."
Unknown

Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.

My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.

My eyes are full of tears
That they can see no more
I wish you were here
To chop these onions for me.

(Unknown)

"Good things come slow. Especially in distance running."
Bill Dellinger

Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.

What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!

I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.

You’re like a pair of goggles; without you, everything’s a blur.

Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.

There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself...

"Messy Room"

Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater's been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His books are all jammed in the closet,
His vest has been left in the hall.
A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Robert or Willie or--
Huh? You say it's mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar!

– Shel Silverstein

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
Europe early this morning!

Did you hear about the nun who got into trouble for drinking communion wine from her convent's medieval goblet?
No, but it serves her rite.

Say it ain’t snow.

What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns.

Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.

I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.

What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”

What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.