"How do you shoot a killer bee?" "With a bee bee gun."
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop him a line!
What did one plate say to the other? Dinners on me
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
What event do spiders love to attend?
Webbings.
What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I'm coming down with something!
What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They’re too cheesy.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time
Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
Why did the cake grow a daisy?
It was made with flower.
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese
What do you call a bee that lives in America? USB
What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer? Arriba McEntire.
How do you drown a Hipster? In the mainstream.
What's the first bet that most people make in their lives? the alpha bet
What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The Space bar!
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
If there’s an invasion army of endless flies attacking, who you gonna call?
The fly S.W.A.T. Team!
Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
Did you hear about the paper boy? He blew away
Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
Why did the log fall into a creek? Because that's how it ROLLS!
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion.
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? it wooden go!
What three candies can you find in every school? Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!
Did you hear about the limo driver who went 25 years without a customer? All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.