What do you call the new girl at the bank? The Nutella!
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
A gold fish.
What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!
Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight!
What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Crispies!
Why did the robber take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
What do you call a person that chops up cereal. a cereal killer.
Where do bulls get their messages? On a bull-etin board.
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO!
What did one wall say to the other wall?
"I’ll meet you at the corner!"
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? They both depend on the batter.
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef, but you cant pea soup!
What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
What kind of berry has a coloring book? A crayon-berry
Did you know vampires aren’t real?
Unless you Count Dracula.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?
My hand.
What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
What did one math book say to the other?
I’ve got so many problems.
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
Long time, no sea.
Did you hear about the carrot detective? He got to the root of every case.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Why did the giraffe get bad grades? He had his head in the clouds.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
Did you hear about the paper boy? He blew away
What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar!
Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls? A. It was a Barbie-
Did you hear about the hairdresser? She dyed.
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What do kids play when they can’t play with a phone?
Bored games.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho... Alaska!
What runs but doesn't get anywhere? A refrigerator.
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
Did you hear about the monster with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove.
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It's dread-full.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky.
What do you call a horse that can't lose a race? Sherbet
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney? An offer you can't understand.
Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?
It could crack up.