What garment are you most likely to spot a house in?
Address
What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race? The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Its easier than walking!
How do you repair a broken tomato? Tomato Paste!
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why didn't the 11 year old go to the pirate movie? because it was rated arrrrr!
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils!
Did you hear about the monster with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove.
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
When I was young there were only 25 letters in the Alphabet. Nobody new why.
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school!
Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado!
Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle.
What do you call a computer that sings? A-Dell
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
What runs but doesn't get anywhere? A refrigerator.
What do you call a person that chops up cereal. a cereal killer.
What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!
What do you call a pile of kittens a meowntain
Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight!
What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
What runs but can't walk? The faucet!