What do you call the new girl at the bank? The Nutella!
What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? the Telephone.
What do you call a pile of kittens a meowntain
Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage.
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
Why do vampires seem sick?
They’re always coffin.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha
Why did the balloon burst? Because is saw a lolly pop.
Why did the birdie go to the hospital? To get a tweetment.
Why doesn't iron form a good bond with other metals?
Because it has rust issues!
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes out the garbage? To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.
What vehicle has 4 wheels and flies? a garbage truck.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
Can February march?
No, but April may.
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tunafish.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back.
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you call a dentist in the army? A drill sergeant
Did you hear the score in the game between the ocean and the beach? It’s tide.
How does a suit put his child into bed? He tux him in.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
When I was young there were only 25 letters in the Alphabet. Nobody new why.
What streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends!
What did the father say whilst teaching his kid to tie his shoelaces?
Knot bad
A bunch of vampire hunters needed to talk
So they scheduled a stakeholders meeting.
What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? Clean Jokes!
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
What do you call a horse that can't lose a race? Sherbet
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
I'm a cashew!
What game does the sky love to play?
Twister.
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They’re too cheesy.
What kind of flower doesn't sleep at night? The Day-zzz
Q: When does a doctor get mad?
A: When he runs out of patients!