What word looks the same backwards and upside down? Swims
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
Who goes to the bathroom in the middle of a party? A party pooper.
Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school? She had a make-up exam!
Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.
What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? Firecrackers!
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny!
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
Did you know a nose cannot be 12 inches long?
Otherwise it’d be a foot!
What did the digital watch say to his grandfather? Look grandpa no hands!
What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time.
What did the tailor think of her new job? It was sew sew.
What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig? I wanna get a head!
How do spiders communicate? Through the World Wide Web.
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
Whens the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
What’s a good name for a detective?
Mr. E
What did one wall say to the other wall?
"I’ll meet you at the corner!"
Why did the belt get arrested? He held up a pair of pants.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up.
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Crispies!
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!
What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race? The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What do you call a European Bigfoot?
Bigmeter.
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? Because he wanted to see time fly!
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Did you hear about the circus fire? Yeah, it was in'tents'.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: He was feeling really crumbie!
What is the tallest building in the world? The library! It has the most stories!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!
Can February March? No. But April May.
Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? He couldn't concentrate!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!
Why can't you take a nap during a race? Because if you snooze, you loose!
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
What do you call leftover aliens? Extra Terrestrials.