What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? It barked with de-light!
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
What do you call a pile of kittens a meowntain
Why did the belt get arrested? He held up a pair of pants.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
Why did the computer break up with the internet? There was no "Connection".
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
Did you know a nose cannot be 12 inches long?
Otherwise it’d be a foot!
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
Where do bulls get their messages? On a bull-etin board.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles.
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? A Frisbee.
What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? The road!
Q: What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?
A: Fill me in when you get back
Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? He couldn't concentrate!
What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty!
Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It's dread-full.
What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A stamp.
How does a suit put his child into bed? He tux him in.
Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight!
Why is it so windy inside a stadium?
There are hundreds of fans.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage.
How do billboards talk?
Sign language.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school!
What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They’re always stuffed!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud
What did they baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s pop corn?
Question: What is the oldest animal?
Answer: The Zebra, it's still in black and white!
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Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? So he could have sweet dreams. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils!
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
When do you stop at green and go at red? When you're eating a watermelon!
What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch
What vehicle has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies.