What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Its easier than walking!
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
What four letters will frighten a burglar? O I C U Where does bad light go? To prism!
Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It's dread-full.
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
Why did Tony go out with a prune? Because he couldn't find a date!
What do you call a magician on a plane? A flying sorcerer!
What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
What did the triangle say to the circle? Your pointless!
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? Their making headlines...
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid?
He was a little Thor.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was playing crossy road.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies.
19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
Why was the robot mad? People kept pushing its buttons.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school? Because they're all in High School!
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog! What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? A sour puss!
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
How many books can you put in an empty backpack? One! After that its not empty!
What caused the airline to go bankrupt? Runway inflation.
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
Because people kept toasting him!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket.
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted!
What do you call it when your nose is stuffy at the rodeo?
Cowboy Boogie.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time
Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
They were past their hexpiration date!
What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we will go places!
I’m sick of martial arts.
I have kung flu.
A bunch of vampire hunters needed to talk
So they scheduled a stakeholders meeting.
Why did the giraffe get bad grades? He had his head in the clouds.
Why did the belt get arrested? He held up a pair of pants.
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
Why did the barber win the race? Because he took a short cut.
How does a suit put his child into bed?
He tux him in.
Choose any number between 2 and 7. Multiply by 4 and add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
Dark, isn’t it?
Did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!