sabbagh cardiologist Jokes

A panel of doctors was asked for their opinions concerning a proposal to build a new wing to their hospital. This was what they said: The Allergists could barely breathe for the shock. The Dermatologists preferred no rash moves be made. The Psychiatrists thought the whole thing was deluded. The Radiologists could see right through it. The Gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it being a bad idea; The whole thing gave them a stomach ache. The Neurologists thought the administration had a big brain idea. The Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted but rectifiable. The Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body." while hiding behind a patient. The Pediatricians said, "Grow up!", then held their breath until blue. The Plastic Surgeons said this was a stretch. The Podiatrists were afraid it was the wrong step. The Urologists felt they were pissing away money. The Anesthesiologists thought it was a pipe dream. The Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no... And the Surgeons weren't even allowed to cut in!

Should Brexit take place? The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologist's had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought May had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!" The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow. The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter." The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the as*holes in Parliament.

“The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good ... spit it out.“ Unknown “I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog:  ‘No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall’ ".  Eleanor Roosevelt “The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning, and a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible.”  George Burns “Santa Claus has the right idea ... visit people only once a year.” Victor Borge “What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.” Mark Twain “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” Groucho Marx “My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.”  Jimmy Durante  “The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and  kindness, can be trained to do most things.”  Jilly Cooper  “I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.”   “I was always a good housekeeper.  Whenever I divorced I always kept  the house.”  Zsa Zsa Gabor  “Only Irish coffee provides, in a single glass, all four essential food  groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.”  Alex Levine  “My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop  dying.”  Ed Furgol  “Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant  form of misery.”  Spike Milligan  “I am opposed to millionaires, but it would bedangerous to offer me the  position.” Mark Twain “Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.” Herbert Henry Asquith  “I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my  nap.”  Bob Hope  “A woman drove me to drink ... and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank  her.”  W C Fields “It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth, or the fourteenth.”  George Burns  “We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.”  Unknown  “Don't worry about avoiding temptation... As you grow older, it will  avoid you.”  Unknown  Doctor to patient: “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.”  Unknown  “By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go  anywhere.”  Unknown