A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.