I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
What kind of gun would a cat have?
A Mauser.
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes
That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
What do you call the first person to kill someone with a gun?
First person shooter
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.