Why did the house go to the doctor?
It was having window panes.
He used to be a doctor but he lost his patience.
Once there was a doctor who got shot. He adamantly wanted to perform surgery on himself, despite all of the other surgeons saying that he shouldn't.
But he was so insistent that they finally said "Fine, suture self."
Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon discoverd, however, I wasn't the real McCoy.
What did the frustrated doctor say to the nurse?
Gauze dammit!
Man: "I’ve had really bad gas lately." Doctor: D"on’t worry, it will pass."
What do doctors use to diagnose chickens?
Eggsray.
A man goes to the Doctor with a banana in one ear, a carrot in the other ear and a cucumber up his nose. “What’s wrong with me doc?” He asks.
“It’s easy, you're not eating properly.” the doctors replies.
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor.
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
Me: I have an appointment to see the doctor.
Nurse: which doctor?
Me: No, just the regular one
There’s a new drama featuring herbivore doctors.
It’s called Graze Anatomy.
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Tell him I can't see him right now."
Why was the doctor so paranoid?
He worked in the ICU.
The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
The surgeon was fired later that day.
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
My doctor told me that his job is easy because he can heal all of his patients with trigonometry.
He has a sinecure.
Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"
Me: "And?"
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor.
But I just didn’t have the patience.
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together