Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
There’s no trick in these pants.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.