I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
I wanna bob for your apples.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Nice pumpkins!
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
I am a mean green machine.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.