You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
There’s no trick in these pants.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
Nice pumpkins!
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
I wanna bob for your apples.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
I am a mean green machine.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”