Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
I am a mean green machine.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
There’s no trick in these pants.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Nice pumpkins!
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.