I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.