With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
I wanna bob for your apples.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.