Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
I am a mean green machine.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?