I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Nice pumpkins!
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.