Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
Nice pumpkins!
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
I am a mean green machine.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.