My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Escargot.
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
What is one way to save money when you go to the lake?
Buy a “sale boat.”
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull.
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?
He’s going to be judged by a jury of its piers.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They weren’t on the port side of the ship.
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can scandinavian.
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.