The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
Aft-ermarket parts!
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull.
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
I don’t believe in boats
I have yacht to see one.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?
He’s going to be judged by a jury of its piers.
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".