How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.

There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!

What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"

One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.

A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.

A Blond walks into a doctors office and says:
"Doctor, what’s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."

Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!

Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back

A blond pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburetor," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blond.

This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."

How do you drown a submarine full of blonds?
You knock on the door.

What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer.

One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."

Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!

Why did the Blonde go to the Apple Store? She wanted a Big Mac meal.

Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.

“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.

Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.

Did you ever hear about the blonde who bathed herself and drank cleaning substances? She wanted to be spotless inside and out.

Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"

Why did the blonde only tie one shoe? Because on the bottom it said "Taiwan" (Tie one)

A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."

Baseball Fan: Have you ever seen a line drive?
Blond Baseball Fan: No, but I have seen a baseball park.

A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...

What's the mating call of the blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk!"

How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”

Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!

Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!

What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.

A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."

What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.

Why did the blonde take a camera to bed? To record what she was going to dream that night.