What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.

A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"

How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.

What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.

A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."

Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.

A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...

An blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.

Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.

Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"

A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"

How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.

What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.

Did you ever hear about the blonde who bathed herself and drank cleaning substances? She wanted to be spotless inside and out.

How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.

A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."

Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!

There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!

A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."

Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!

Why did the blonde have square boobs? Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved.

Two blonds were driving down the road.
The blond driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blond looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."

A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"

What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.

Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.

Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"

Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!

What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer.

Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."

Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!

Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.

Baseball Fan: Have you ever seen a line drive?
Blond Baseball Fan: No, but I have seen a baseball park.

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.

Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!

Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.

Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!

Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.
A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before.
Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.
When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”

How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.

“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.