What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.

A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.

Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.

What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.

A blond rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.

Dustin and Jane (both blonds) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”
The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”

Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!

What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer.

“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.

Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!

Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.
A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they’d never seen before.
Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.
When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”

A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."

Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.

What's the mating call of the blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk!"

A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."

“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.

Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back

What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.

Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!

“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.

What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"

How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.

A blond was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?"
The blond said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."

What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!

A Blond walks into a doctors office and says:
"Doctor, what’s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."

Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.

A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."

How do you kill a blonde? Give her a gun and say it's a hair drier.

Why did the blonde have square boobs? Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she has a grenade in her hand.

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.

An blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.

Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.

Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"

How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.

How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.

How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.

A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...

Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.

Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"

Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.

What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"

What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!”
“How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."

Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!

Why did the blonde only tie one shoe? Because on the bottom it said "Taiwan" (Tie one)

A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"