Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
How do you know your dehydrated? You can hear your red blood cells crenating.
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
Where do hippos go to university? Hippocampus.
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe? Mitosis.
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
What did one brain say to another?
I lobe you.
Biology - It grows on you.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.