Remind me not to get into another pillow fight... the risk for a concushion is too big.
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning, almost couldn't move!
Luckilly, I called a toe truck.
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
Did you hear about the guy who's blanket fell off of him in the hospital?
He never recovered
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out?
I'm down
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....
They're my quilty pleasure
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
How do you get more bounce in a water bed?
Put some spring water in it
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
Nothing really mattress.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
What pillow set do the church organist and his wife have?
Hymn and Hers.
I used to hate the electric blanket.
But the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
I woke up in the middle of the night and found all the blankets on my bed were missing.
I was scared sheetless.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
I'm thinking about buying a weighted blanket.
This is a most heavy decision.
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first