I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
How do you get more bounce in a water bed?
Put some spring water in it
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out?
I'm down
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
I used to hate the electric blanket.
But the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it.
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
What pillow set do the church organist and his wife have?
Hymn and Hers.
Did you hear about the guy who's blanket fell off of him in the hospital?
He never recovered
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
I woke up in the middle of the night and found all the blankets on my bed were missing.
I was scared sheetless.
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....
They're my quilty pleasure
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning, almost couldn't move!
Luckilly, I called a toe truck.
I'm thinking about buying a weighted blanket.
This is a most heavy decision.
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
Remind me not to get into another pillow fight... the risk for a concushion is too big.
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
Nothing really mattress.