I woke up in the middle of the night and found all the blankets on my bed were missing.
I was scared sheetless.
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning, almost couldn't move!
Luckilly, I called a toe truck.
I used to hate the electric blanket.
But the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it.
Remind me not to get into another pillow fight... the risk for a concushion is too big.
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
How do you get more bounce in a water bed?
Put some spring water in it
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....
They're my quilty pleasure
I'm thinking about buying a weighted blanket.
This is a most heavy decision.
Did you hear about the guy who's blanket fell off of him in the hospital?
He never recovered
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out?
I'm down
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
What pillow set do the church organist and his wife have?
Hymn and Hers.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
Nothing really mattress.