Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.