Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.