When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.