Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.