In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"