What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.