I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.