I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.