I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
I think you're mer-mazing.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
Fairies just spell trouble.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
You are shrimply the best!
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.