What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
Fairies just spell trouble.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Call me on the shellphone.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Go big or go gnome.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.
You are shrimply the best!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
I think you're mer-mazing.
I have a bone to pixie with you.
Fishing you a happy day.