What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.