Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.