What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.