TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.